After playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl for awhile, we discovered that you can defeat ANYONE in Wii's best fighting game with these 5 simple strategies.

1. While playing against your opponent using his TV, wait 'til you are ahead then throw your Wiimote at the TV while in the middle of the preferrably timed match. You need to put some muscle in it, the screen must crack. Blame it on a faulty wrist-strap, and watch as your opponent cries in agony. Whether he is crying about you winning or the 4,000$ LCD HDTV his family saved up for, you won and that is all that matters.

2. Get naked. Take off your clothes as fast as possible. The opponent's concentration may fall rapidly. Works better if you are fat.

3. Unplug your opponent's controller if he/she is using a wired GameCube controller. If he asks you why his controller is unplugged, blame it on the wind. If he asks about wind being indoors, blame it on global warming. Nobody questions global warming.

4. Start a time match set for 10 minutes, start playing for a few minutes. Randomly break out in a fake epileptic seizure. DO NOT LET GO OF THE WIIMOTE. When your opponent calls 911 and the ambulance takes you to the hospital, keep holding the Wiimote. At hospital arrival, hold the Wiimote in the air and brag how you just won, because your friend put the Wiimote down to call 911 for you and the match should be over. He forfeited, and quitters are never tolerated. You win once again, give yourself a pat on the back.

5. Eat beans. Fart. Nuff said.

All these strategies work very well, you just can't lose. Have fun and remember, there is never a such thing as a good loser.

3:19 PM
Categories: Author: gotsmartz